| Aaaah |
[11 May 2005|04:00pm] |
Aaaah says everyone,
Just the birds are silent with surprise...
|
|
| The cheese! |
[25 Apr 2005|07:29pm] |
Boys - all I really want is boys
And in the morning it's boys
Cause in the evening it's boys
I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile
Boys - to do the dishes
Boys - to clean up my room
Boys - to do the laundry
Boys - and in the bathroom
Boys - that's all I really want is boys
Two at a time - I want boys
With new wave hairdos - I want boys!
|
|
| At long last....some perspective. |
[21 Apr 2005|10:50pm] |
Submitted for your review: the meaning of life... or maybe something more simple:
A Pro-lifer Repents
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-67372069@craigslist.org
Date: Thu Apr 07 11:13:25 2005
I am self-righteous. I am unforgiving. I am a conservative asshole. But I have had a life-changing experience that showed me how arrogant and ignorant I really am.
**DISCLAIMER**
I didn't spell-check
I'm not a literary genius
I just want to share with you the fact that I was WRONG.
Here's my story.
I used to be one of those people who stuck up her nose at the thought of welfare, abortion, affirmative action, whatever. I saw myself as "conservative" and that the poor were poor because they were lazy, the pregnant got pregnant because they slept around with no protection and used abortion as birth control, and that the government shouldn't help out others because they just abuse it. I felt this way not becuase I have deep moral or religious views, I was just an ignornat slob who had no clue about real problems.
Well. The unthinkable happened. I GOT PREGNANT. I was on the pill, took it correctly and religiously, but still got knocked up. I WAS FREAKED. Never been pregnant before, and in the past when a woman said she was pregnant I thought "Aren't you used to this by now? You're just going to abort it and start all over again." NEVER did I consider what an emotional blow this is. Everything in my life stopped. I mean - me...pregnant?!?!?! But I was so careful! But I am a good person! But I can't have a BABY!!! This kind of thing happens to crackwhores and junkies, right???? WRONG.
So I had options: have it. don't have it. Was that really an option? FOR ME?? I can't have an abortion! I am against that, right?!?!? Well, I wasn't. I am not above it. I am not above or better than anyone who has had one, or two, or five. ANYONE WHO HAS HAD TO MAKE THIS KIND OF CHOICE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN! It's the most impossible decision a person can make. It hurt down to the core of me.
How could I judge ANY woman (or man) that has had to make this choice? It is horrific. Miserable. Painful. Life-changing. So I made the choice. I decided to terminate my pregnancy. My first, my only. I made an appoinment. I was scared as hell.
The cattle call began at 7am with PROTESTERS! Protesters outside the clinic screaming "That's a BAD BAD place! Get away! You are sick for what you are doing!!" I wanted to turn around and scream "You don't know SHIT about my life and my problems! BACK OFF!!" They were relentless, shaming, and cruel. I felt so degraded and dirty. How dare they judge me? They don't know the pain I am in...the misery of making this choice....how dare they!
So in I went, after being searched by a police officer who was making sure no one wsa going to bomb the place. UNREAL! People HURT other people over this issue!! Like it isn't hard enough?!
In the waiting room were 8-10 MISERABLE people, including boyfriends, sisters, friends, husbands. And they were all petrified. I had no idea. No clue what these people had to go through. Now here I was amongst them. Waiting my turn.
And BOY what a wait. 1 hour in the waiting room. Then you go pee into a cup and fill out your paperwork, and wait another hour in a little room with 7 other girls who are scared as hell, and no one wants to look at one another due to their own shame or embarrassment. I felt for these women as I had never felt for anyone before. So when you are finally called, they take you into another little room where you wait to have lab work done. Then you have a sonogram done by a MEAN woman. She says "yup you're pregnant." Thanks lady. But the worst part is waiting pre-op in your little gown and hat and booties again with 7 other girls. Then the moment of truth. They strap you in. Legs in the air, tush in the wind. Before you know it they put you put and you wake up feeling like hell. You collect your things and go home. Done.
I'm sorry for the judging, for the intolerance, for my ignorance. Who am I to decide what you should and should not to do with your body. Thank God abortion is legal and safe. I have many amends to make.
Pro-Choice.
[END]
And then...
I love you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: anon-65470927@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Mar 25 14:35:05 2005
Hope y'all don't mind me posting this here, just have to get it out.
You know, most of us have gotten those emails of do what you need to do today, in case there is no tomorrow. But, what gets me more than that is just thinking of when will be the last time? When will be the last time I GET to change a diaper? When will be the last time she sleeps in the middle? When will be the last time she wants to "cuddle"? When will be the last time 'Daddy get's a hug'? When will be the last time I toss her in the air? When will be the last time she falls asleep on my chest? When will be the last time she says "mah-mah" or "dah-dah"? When will be the last we GET to give her a bath? When will be the last time she cries just because we want to put her down? When will be the last time I can brush the hair from her face without her pushing my hand away? When will be the last time I get to see that expression from a funky food I gave her? When will be the last time I GET to buckle her in her car seat. When will be the last time I GET to carry her?
You know, many of these things I take for granted right now, and I shouldn't. As stated above, many of us get the 'no tomorrow' emails, but do we ever just think of when things just 'stop' happening? At some point as children, we made an unconscious to stop giving our parents a kiss good night. At some point we decided to not say I love you (as much). At some point we began feeding ourselves. At some point we decided our bed was much more roomy and comfortable by ourselves. Did we think about it? No. Did our parents think about it? Probably not. It just happens. No one knows when, or (usually) why, it just does, we just stop.
Well, I'm going to try and do my best to enjoy these moments while I have them. And notice I stressed the GET's above, because while they seem like chores now, someday we WILL miss GETTING to do these things.
So, I'm about to leave work and go home where I will GET to walk my dog down three flights of stairs with my baby girl in my arms, allowing me to kiss her cheeck and tell her I love her.
Chloe, you will more than likely never see this message, but I love you more than anything God ever put on this earth and I hope I am able to express that to you properly.
I love you,
Dad
[END]
Should one move you more than the other? Are you confused if you found both rich and meaningfull?
Are we too busy playing god? When was the last time you "got" or "had" to do something that meant something to you?
|
|
| The Stranger, Albert Camus 1942 |
[28 May 2004|10:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
"And I felt ready to live it all again too. As though that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself-- so like a brother, really-- I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again. For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate."
|
|
| Computer Science overload |
[27 May 2004|01:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lazy |
] |
The New Luddite Challenge
An excerpt from the Unabomber Manifesto that briefly summarizes the author's charge against technological progress.
Originally published 1995. Published on KurzweilAI.net February 22, 2001.
First let us postulate that the computer scientists succeed in developing intelligent machines that can do all things better than human beings can do them. In that case presumably all work will be done by vast, highly organized systems of machines and no human effort will be necessary. Either of two cases might occur. The machines might be permitted to make all of their own decisions without human oversight, or else human control over the machines might be retained.
If the machines are permitted to make all their own decisions, we can't make any conjectures as to the results, because it is impossible to guess how such machines might behave. We only point out that the fate of the human race would be at the mercy of the machines. It might be argued that the human race would never be foolish enough to hand over all the power to the machines. But we are suggesting neither that the human race would voluntarily turn power over to the machines nor that the machines would willfully seize power. What we do suggest is that the human race might easily permit itself to drift into a position of such dependence on the machines that it would have no practical choice but to accept all of the machines' decisions. As society and the problems that face it become more and more complex and machines become more and more intelligent, people will let machines make more of their decisions for them, simply because machine-made decisions will bring better results than man-made ones. Eventually a stage may be reached at which the decisions necessary to keep the system running will be so complex that human beings will be incapable of making them intelligently. At that stage the machines will be in effective control. People won't be able to just turn the machines off, because they will be so dependent on them that turning them off would amount to suicide.
On the other hand it is possible that human control over the machines may be retained. In that case the average man may have control over certain private machines of his own, such as his car or his personal computer, but control over large systems of machines will be in the hands of a tiny elite--just as it is today, but with two differences. Due to improved techniques the elite will have greater control over the masses; and because human work will no longer be necessary the masses will be superfluous, a useless burden on the system. If the elite is ruthless they may simply decide to exterminate the mass of humanity. If they are humane they may use propaganda or other psychological or biological techniques to reduce the birth rate until the mass of humanity becomes extinct, leaving the world to the elite. Or, if the elite consists of soft-hearted liberals, they may decide to play the role of good shepherds to the rest of the human race. They will see to it that everyone's physical needs are satisfied, that all children are raised under psychologically hygienic conditions, that everyone has a wholesome hobby to keep him busy, and that anyone who may become dissatisfied undergoes "treatment" to cure his "problem." Of course, life will be so purposeless that people will have to be biologically or psychologically engineered either to remove their need for the power process or make them "sublimate" their drive for power into some harmless hobby. These engineered human beings may be happy in such a society, but they will most certainly not be free. They will have been reduced to the status of domestic animals.
|
|
| First Post! |
[26 May 2004|07:13pm] |
|
Ladies and Gentlemen, my new journal. Prolly won't see many posts from me but I'm here nonetheless.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
nostalgic